Here’s what you need to know: snakes will escape and a tortoise offers only lessons in estate planning …
o, I said to my wife, “we should not get a cat.” Every family needs at least one member who is prepared to present the case for not getting a pet. I accepted the post early on. A cat may seem like a good idea, I told my wife, but it would ultimately be an encumbrance, a dragging anchor on our lives. We already have a mortgage for that. Let’s just pretend the mortgage is a cat.shed hair and chew up your property. And also, we already have a cat.
Once you have pets, life without them seems unimaginable. And then they die. And then you can’t imagine replacing them, because life without a pet is so carefree. But you do replace them. And then those ones die. It’s the Circle of Life, on fast forward.y earliest memory of a pet is probably my earliest memory, no more than a blur, glimpsed through the bars of my crib: an enormous black dog runs into my bedroom, eats the magnetic letters off my easel and runs out again.
It was five years before my father brought home another dog, a starving mongrel that jumped into his car as he was leaving his dental practice. My mother said it could stay for one night. It stayed for 16 years. I was away at college when my parents finally had Daphne put down, and was unprepared for the flood of sadness that accompanied the news. I figured my one significant relationship with an animal had been and gone. I wasn’t going to go through that again.In 1998, on the day of my wife’s mother’s funeral, my father-in-law arrived with a cardboard box under his arm.
But the arrival of the tortoise weakened my resolve. When my wife suggested we get a cat a year later, I didn’t object. She procured one and named it Lupin. No one listened to me. After Lupin we got Kipper, who wasn’t a joy – he was disagreeable, and he bit. Kipper came inside to eat, and to claw at our toddler children, but the rest of the time he kept himself to himself. At the time I sort of liked the idea of a cat you couldn’t really get attached to.
Unlike Kipper, James was extremely patient; you could carry him around like a draught excluder. He was also timid, which kept him from exploring the surrounding roads. In spite of the unappealing stub he had in place of a tail, everyone loved James, even me. Then after two years James went missing, and I thought my heart would break.
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