The four species are things you and others think but dare not say; things you say but don’t mean; things you feel but can’t name; and things you do but do not realize
They have studied group dynamics in a variety of organizations and found the more undiscussables there are, the more difficult it is for the team to function. If those issues aren’t discussed collectively they can’t be managed intelligently.
So what elephants are in your meetings and workplace? They come in four species: Things you and others think but dare not say; things you say but don’t mean; things you feel but can’t name; and things you do but do not realize. As well as unspoken truths, there can be spoken untruths: Things the team says but doesn’t mean. “Teams often proclaim but fail to follow certain values, objectives or practices that are supposed to guide and inspire them and create a sense of togetherness. The disconnect between what’s said and what’s done is visible to all, but no one points it out for fear of endangering the team’s cohesion, even if that cohesion is based on a shared illusion,” professors Toegel and Barsoux say.
Help begins by providing coaches and other support to the feuding parties to investigate their differences and find better footing. The team leader must be sure everyone feels welcome, particularly if issues of diversity intermingle with the friction. In the German case, a breakthrough came when both parties – a chief operating officer and a chief technology officer – took part in a role-playing exercise in which they put themselves in the other person’s shoes.
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