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Toxicity: How to recognize and avoid it

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Toxicity: How to recognize and avoid it
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Sometimes, cutting people off your life may seem like the only way to escape their toxicity. 🙅🏻‍♀️ | via philstarlife

These people “suck the life” out of the room by imposing their negativity and pessimism on anyone they encounter and can inject fear and concern into the most benign situations. They are energy drainers.

After interacting with these people you leave feeling exhausted and emotionally depleted.They can take the thing you are most passionate about and make you feel terrible about it. You can spot this type of person by their constant criticism. You might want to avoid sharing your dreams, plans, and goals with someone like this. Keep it light and in the present tense. It is often said that you are the product of the five people you spend the most time with. If you allow even one of those five to be toxic, you will soon find out how capable they are of holding you back, creating needless havoc at school, work or at home.They are never happy, find nothing positive in anything or anyone, and discourage others from doing the same. They ramble on about problems with little interest in finding solutions or taking action. Passive-aggressive behavior is common in these individuals. They appear pleasant on the surface, but once you identify them, the constant complaining and “nothing is good enough” attitude will be obvious.They can be difficult to pinpoint because they treat you as a friend. They know what you like, who you care for, what makes you happy, and they use this information in a hidden agenda. Manipulators always want something from you, but hardly ever give back. So whether it’s negativity, victim syndrome or just plain craziness, we need to protect ourselves by limiting exposure, avoiding and staying away at all costs. Recent research from the Department of Biological and Clinical Psychology at Friedrich Schiller University in Germany found that exposure to strong negative emotions — similar to dealing with toxic people — caused the subject’s brain to have a massive stress response. Older studies have long shown that stress can have a lasting, negative impact on the brain, compromising the effectiveness of neurons in the hippocampus, responsible for reasoning and memory.. Toxic people are hardly ever at fault and often see themselves as a victim in every situation, blaming you or others for their issues. Rather than nodding to avoid conflict and enabling this behavior, explain your side using words like: “I see it from a different perspective” and describe what happened without accusations. While your disagreement might irritate them further, they will probably lower the chances of them involving you again.Pay attention to how they make you feel. Simply becoming aware of this can help you better navigate your interactions with them when any interaction happens.You don’t need to respond to their emotional chaos or beat them at their own game. Do not respond to them emotionally and get sucked in. The more irrational they are, the easier it is to remove yourself from the situation.After some time, behaviors become more obvious and highly predictable. This gives you the power and control to decide how you want to deal with that person at that given time. Distancing yourself before the chaos begins will be easier to anticipate. Set limits and establish boundaries: After some time, behaviors become more obvious and highly predictable. This gives you the power and control to decide how you want to deal with that person at that given time.When someone’s behavior makes you feel insecure and sad, you may blame yourself. Don’t. Toxic traits reflect on their own self-doubt and struggles. Try to keep interactions with toxic people superficial, light and insignificant. The less you share about yourself, the better. Use lines such as: “I prefer not to discuss my relationships in the workplace” or change the subject to something trivial like the weather.Removing yourself physically from a highly toxic situation can help you avoid uncomfortable and unwanted scenarios. Excuse yourself and leave.If you are never close by, they won’t be able to engage. This strategy works especially well at work. Phrases such as: “Sorry, I need to make an urgent call” or “They are waiting for me in my office” will get the point through.Depending on how close this relationship is or how much you might care, you might consider pointing out your observations positively and tactfully. Counselors and psychologists can aptly help identify ways to manage emotions and problematic behaviors. Sometimes cutting people out of your life may seem like the only way to escape their toxic influence. Do what it takes. Make it a priority to surround yourself with kind and supportive people with good intentions and kind hearts. Life has so much positivity, love and beauty to offer. Concentrate on that.

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