Rhoda Kwan on the longing and guilt felt by many Hongkongers living the life of an exile in Taiwan
exhibited his latest work in Dadaocheng, on one of Taipei’s oldest streets. Hanging from the ceiling of a small converted art space were 14 enlarged portraits of Hongkongers who had, out of fear of arrest or unwillingness to live in a diminished version of their city, fled to Taiwan, to start over.
But holding on to that hope means looking simultaneously to the past and the future while ignoring the life in front of you. It means disengaging with the present to fixate on a “one day”. It runs counter to the everyday demands of adjusting to a new place. Because life inexorably continues. It forges forward even as we wish it would go backward, to before – to a time when our lives weren’t premised on a series of impossible compromises.
This is what awaits all who have left Hong Kong. On the upper deck of a London bus this spring, a young Hongkonger sitting next to me spoke Cantonese on the phone to his mother. He told her he couldn’t find a full-time job, that there were only casual gigs available. He told her what time it was in London. Snatches of a conversation between a family severed, flung across time zones.
To exist here, to move forward after Hong Kong, means splitting yourself in two, burying the version of you that can’t look away from the ongoing loss, telling yourself you have no right to grieve or wallow when you’re no longer there. It means locking that self away behind more immediate concerns, like how to open a bank account and where to buy dog food.
In the centre was his best-known work, the one that cost him his job back home: a drawing of himself, hands tied behind his back, drawing a yellow smiley face with a brush between his teeth.The Hong Kong spirit never admits defeat even when beaten to deathKeep your kindness, remember your anger. Glory to Hong KongIn a run-down toilet downstairs, the owners of the space had set out chalk for visitors to leave messages and thoughts on the bare concrete walls.
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