Opinion: China’s new squirrel cops are making Canada’s wild animals seem like lazy bums. When it comes to animals and law and order, we’ve never managed to bark past K9. But if China’s squirrels are now fighting crime, surely our raccoons can step up.
You’ve heard of police dogs. Police horses. Around the world, there are also police pot-bellied pigs. Police mongooses. Police monkeys. And now …Authorities in China announced this week they have successfully trained six rodents to work in tandem with a K9 unit. These brave red squirrels will join the Chongqing narcotics division and presumably not be expected to drive mopeds or wear badges.Yin Jin, a handler of police dogs turned squirrel whisperer, was quoted in various reports this week.
Remember in 2020, when the Toronto International Boat Show promoted a performance by Twiggy the Waterskiing Squirrel? And then Mayor John Tory started running his killjoy yap about bylaw infractions and wild animals andThat was the wrong reaction. Our leaders should have held emergency meetings to discuss how and why Twiggy mastered a water sport.
What’s next, China? Will speeding motorists soon be pulled over by deputized leopards with sirens strapped to their heads? Will owls join the war on shoplifting? Who needs surveillance cameras when your loss prevention team can spin their heads around and never blink? Plus, you can pay their salaries in dead mice.China’s new squirrel cops are making Canada’s wild animals seem like lazy bums.
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