Somewhere deep inside my animal brain, I knew my homesickness could only be cured by one thing: bad takeaway food
‘I craved a Chiko roll that had been sitting in a bain-marie for so long there were entirely new species of bacteria living inside it.’‘I craved a Chiko roll that had been sitting in a bain-marie for so long there were entirely new species of bacteria living inside it.’here was a time where I would eat the same meal every evening. I was fresh out of home, working two jobs, trying to start up a comedy career and occasionally selling my blood to medical experiments to make ends meet.
I have become unbearable. I let out a performative “oooh” when food is dropped in front of me, even when I am at a cafe and have specifically ordered that food and am in no way surprised by its arrival. We were very much a family that had a standard repertoire of four or five meals, each uniquely bad, and would only go out for dinner for birthdays. There was one standard restaurant we visited – a Chinese food place overlooking a glamorous petrol station. When, for my 18th birthday, I begged my family to please go somewhere, anywhere else, they finally yielded and booked a table at the other Chinese food place overlooking a secondhand car yard.
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