I’ve already disabled my Twitter account and want to learn to stop scrolling and be more present for my family
he other night I was bathing my 15-month-old son. He grabbed the shampoo bottles, the rubber duck and a hairbrush, and sank them in the bathwater. He squealed, delighting himself in some private game. I turned away, picked up my phone, refreshed my email and checked Instagram. Then I scrolled while my son played in the bath beside me, thinking he didn’t want to be observed. When he noticed me on my phone, looking away from him, his smile vanished. He whined and teared up.
Yes, I know, me and everyone else – but what am I actually doing about it and how deeply am I interrogating my impulse? I know that some incredibly smart people came up with the technology and our addiction is an intended effect, but I don’t want to deliver a critique of the tech industry. I just want to articulate the emotional impact that scrolling has had on me.
This evening, I bathed my son while trying not to impulsively switch off and turn away – I’m trying to stay available, to witness him quietly playing. I felt the urge to check my phone and rode out the feeling and was glad to have created a moment with him. He has nine teeth and light hazelnut hair. His curls fall not far from his eyes, which are his mother’s eyes.
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