Papi responds to a reader who claims to ‘suck’ at first-date chitchat: ‘You’re there to check your chemistry with another person. There’s always a possibility you won’t have any.’
I’m a 20-something straight guy who’s not very good at first dates . Maybe it’s nerves, maybe it’s that I’m a deeply uninteresting person who lacks life-changing trips abroad or near-death experiences to talk about, but whatever it is, I just feel like I have all the personality of a dead fish the second I sit down across from a lovely lady at the restaurant where we agreed to meet.
It’s wonderful to see that I’m getting letters from straight men. It’s truly the final frontier for this column, which has found resonance among gay men, straight women, and lesbians who watch anime. Go tell all your buddies that ¡Hola Papi! is a safe environment where we accept clicks and metrics from all walks of life, even exotic ones such as yours..
For starters, it’s important to remember that you’re on a date in the first place to check your chemistry with another person. There’s a decent possibility you will not have any. A dry conversation, though unpleasant, is an indicator that it’s not a match. That’s the purpose of a first date, fulfilled.
The thing about being cool is, you don’t need to have gone on life-changing trips or had any near-death experiences to achieve it. Honestly, on a first date, if someone is trying too hard to be interesting, it’s kind of a downer. I think a good first date is one where both parties make an earnest attempt to get to know each other, and that involves a lot of listening.
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