When it comes to separation or divorce, the most convincing argument or appeal are tears combined with stories of betrayal, mental abuse or years of unrequited love and self-sacrifice. If you listen to the narrative long enough, chances are your own view could be twisted or impaired and jeopardize you from giving the necessary help.
As “Kuya” to many friends, I have been entrusted with some of these stories and laments from wives, a husband or two and more from sons and daughters. What’s interesting is that they often come to me to be an enforcer or to hear my view, even brutal honesty.
Long story short, she opened up and shared her agony and intentions to carry out her plans once the dust settled. If the Bible says, “iron sharpens iron,” ours was “bullheaded met stubborn.” As I counseled her like a drill sergeant, I surrounded her with people who had survived the very situation she was in.
But as one grows older, listen better, observe with objectivity and throw in a dash of reality, I have taken the view that while divorce seems to be the quickest way out, it is only possible for the rich and influential. People simply stop one episode, only to start another, always carrying the same baggage.
I believe that the divorce bill would be no better. Just look into the history of divorce in the US and Europe and you realize that it’s not as simple as filling in the blanks and filing a request for divorce.
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