Advice: I’m more lonely than I expected after divorce. How do I get my independent spirit back? Ask Ellie
QI’m 33 and had no idea that being divorced would be so hard on me. After the marriage was over, I thought I’d feel free and happy to have ended a relationship which had become controlling and loveless.So when a man I met through a mutual friend asked if he could call me and arrange a date, I said, “Sure.”
After about four months, he said we should live together at his home where he’d previously lived with his ex-wife, but I was uncomfortable there. So, he rented a house for us and pressured me to agree. I rented out my own place and moved in with him. You hadn’t done the work of learning how divorce could affect you. It’s a time when you need your most caring, non-judgmental friends, and when new people — e.g. would-be dates — need to be seen as friends only until there’s a strong, mutual attraction toward a relationship.
QMy brother lost his wife to cancer a few years ago. For many years, she’d frequently said she’s dying of “terminal” cancer. Her two children heard this for years. I think that story damaged them.
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