Watching the NHL trying to be TikTok popular is like watching your dad breakdance
One day would be horrible enough, but an entire weekend of this audio-visual torture elevates it to a spiritual experience. I’ve never done ayahuasca in the Brazilian rain forest, but I have watched Sidney Crosby get dropped in the dunk tank during the “Splash Shot” challenge. I’m guessing it’s kind of the same.
That NHL wasn’t fundamentally different than the one that exists now, but it understood something about itself – that it’s not for everyone. Hockey is a strange sport played by farmers and suburban Richie Riches. Marner is permitted a personality because he’s an all-star who’s been in the league a few years. Can you imagine someone on the Leafs’ third line or a rookie asking to do Crockett and Tubbs before a game? Suddenly, they’d be ‘that guy’. That guy who doesn’t know his place. That guy who’s got his priorities all mixed up.
The NHL doesn’t have a single guy like that, which is why its all-star weekend is a cringe convention.
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