Learning to control impulsivity does not come naturally, says Philippa Perry. The key is in developing the right skill sets
40s. I have a career and I own my flat, but I’m continually unhappy. I’ve been taking all sorts of antidepressantstherapists, doctors, psychiatrists and have attended anger management and mindfulness courses, retreats, yoga. Nothing works. My brain scans are normal.
I struggle to remember my childhood and actively cut off thoughts if my mind wanders there. I’m just back from visiting my mum and dad You’ve had therapeutic help over the years and “nothing works”. No, nothing will until you engage with it. Therapy is not like a medicinal cream that you just rub on and miraculously the rash disappears. When it comes to improving your mental health, you must engage with the help. You have to do the work. There are no miracles. Mindfulness, body work, psychotherapy, etc, are tools. You must be the worker in charge of those tools to make them work for you.
When we dare to keep putting the difficult stuff into words, we gradually take control of it, rather than it controlling us. The more you take out the demons from their box and look at them, the less frightening they become – in the same way as the more you use a pencil the blunter it gets.
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