Author Amy Chua on the evils of sleepovers, the benefits of practising and how discipline builds self-esteem. (From the archive)
Amy Chua is a professor of law at Yale University and the author of two acclaimed books about globalization and free-market democracy. Her new memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, recounts raising her two daughters, now 15 and 18, using what she calls “Chinese parenting” methods.
Q: You were an obsessive taskmaster, demanding your girls be top of their class, be fluent in Mandarin, practise classical music for hours every day and do chores. You also banned TV, computers, play dates and sleepovers. A: It’s Chinese people of a certain demographic, along with other immigrants. And there are patterns; it’s not just stereotypes. I also say Western parents come in all varieties. I have Western friends who are very strict. But I think the current dominant Western parenting approach is much more protective, much more permissive. Western parents are shocked by some of the things that Chinese parents say and do, it seems so harsh.
Q: You’re a critic of play dates and sleepovers, which you describe as “punishment parents unknowingly inflict on their kids through permissiveness.” A: Yes. The techniques may sound harsh, but the Chinese parent is saying: “I believe in you so much that I know you can be excellent, and I’m going to be in the trenches with you for however long it takes and I’m not going to let you give up.” Now, eventually if your child says, “I don’t like math, I want to be a poet,” you have to let them.
Q: Discussing ethnic differences has become a taboo, yet it’s your favourite topic to write about. Why?
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