The burden of infertility rests mainly on women – here's what couples can do to bridge the gap

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The burden of infertility rests mainly on women – here's what couples can do to bridge the gap
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Women often shoulder more responsibility and blame for a couple's infertility because they are the ones getting pregnant. CNA Women finds out how a more involved husband can make for a smoother journey, regardless of the outcome of fertility treatments.

Women seem to take the lead – and be expected to do so – when it comes to a couple’s infertility issues and journey to getting pregnant.

When it comes to infertility, women seem to take more of a lead in looking for solutions to the couple’s journey to pregnancy. But it is precisely because the women are the ones who get pregnant, that causes them to take on more blame – and responsibility – for the success of the couple’s fertility treatments, they carry a heavier burden than necessary.

The way men and women approach problems also differs. Dr Liu said that women tend to openly discuss and seek solutions for the stress and anxiety caused by a problem. They are also open to sharing their concerns with others. He would support her by being by her side during treatments and running most of the errands. This helped to reduce his wife’s stress and made her feel less alone, allowing them to face their infertility as a team.

A more involved husband makes for a stronger relationship during the fertility journey, regardless of the success of treatment. Infertility can bring up a range of emotions such as sadness, frustration, guilt and even anger – and women tend to experience this distress more intensely. This shared vision helps couples support each other and make decisions as a united front, minimising potential conflicts or misunderstandings.Infertility is undoubtedly challenging, so seeking support from others who have gone through it can be helpful. Dr Liu recommends that a couple join support groups, attend counselling sessions, or connect with other couples in the same situation.

And yet, whenever the couple mentioned that they were pursuing fertility treatment, family and friends would assume it was the woman’s problem. “I wanted to share that it was okay for men to talk about it and that it was normal to some of us,” Dennis said. “We have to support one another better.”

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