There’s a point where self-care and self-love become simple selfishness, writes Hagen Engler of the recent Miss Universe drama.
The modern mantra of self-care is noble in that teaches respect for ourselves and encourages mental health. However, that can only be true to the point where it touches the rights of other people. Self-care cannot be used as a justification for the abuse or domination of others. It must also be balanced against our social duties, which we have a responsibility to fulfil, despite them being an inconvenience, or even a small risk to ourselves.
However, self-respect is not a licence to abandon our roles as a members of families, of communities and of an evolving society.It’s hard to measure the narcissism levels of a society, but anecdotally, one senses a growth of self-centredness in the popular discourse, and in some of our personal interactions.
Then there is the faux-psychology language of healing and self-care. Where it’s justified, all well and good. We all deserve mental health. But where such terms are used to justify ego-centric behaviour, it’s not okay! Our personal happiness is not more important than everybody else’s. “Be happy” is the kind of thing a parent tells their child, because they want the best for them. It cannot be the ultimate driving philosophy for adult life.
There are morals, ethics and principles to this thing called life. What keeps society going is empathy, compassion, and that deeply untrendy concept these days: self-sacrifice.
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