Opinion: Why did people believe toilet paper was the staple they needed to survive End Times? Did it represent that last scrap of normalcy?
When the COVID-19 pandemic first started, I, like many with a mind to possible shortages, drove to the nearest big bulk store. There, I was greeted by the sight of frenzied shoppers running back to their cars, awkwardly clutching two and three big bales of toilet paper to their chests, like a parent trying to hang on to a squirming child.
But toilet paper? Why did people believe that was the staple they needed to survive End Times? Did toilet paper represent that last scrap of normalcy they needed to hold on to? Or did it speak to — sorry, it won’t happen again — some kind of anal retentive compulsion to maintain a measure of control, if only on the toilet?
On the other hand, my wife berates me for pulling on the toilet paper roll twice before wadding it, which is my habit, but which to her is symptomatic of the wanton profligacy that brought down the Roman Empire.
This may or may not be true, depending on what you believe on the internet. It was there I found an informal study done by “relationship expert” Gilda Carle, and author of the book Don’t Lie On Your Back For A Guy Who Doesn’t Have Yours.
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