One new decree drew 500 likes: “A zero-shame policy for pronouncing words you’ve only ever seen in print.”
“If you were in charge of English for a day, what is one thing you would change or one rule you would implement?” The question came on social media last week, posted by theAbolish apostrophes! Change Wednesday to Wensday. Make stutterer easier to say! Hour by hour, the suggestions shaped an accidental beatnik poem, declaiming utilise, biweekly and the needless ‘t’ in often. James Owen denigrated jargon. “Corpro-speak to be forbidden; no more maximising learning potentialities.
Heteronyms also copped a mauling, summed up by Michelle Marie: “Bass , base , bass would not be like this any more”. Zany edicts also arrived, such as “The word palindrome should be one” or “Bad news must be delivered in rhyme” or “Let’s change the plural of spouse to spice!” Yet in Chinese, as Scott explains, “Verbs don’t conjugate. In most cases, meaning is clear from context.” Chinese still has a tense system yet it’s not essential in every sentence – a poetic coup against time-serving English.
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