My attire this season? Anything unnoticeable | David Mitchell

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My attire this season? Anything unnoticeable | David Mitchell
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Like TV journalist Michael Crick, I’m a fan of ties. But for precisely the opposite reason

ooking neutral can be a challenge. That’s my big take-away from LA fashion week. Did you realise it was LA fashion week? I nearly missed it. I only twigged when I saw a photo in the paper of an oddly dressed young woman holding a dog. It was from– he’s a designer who specialises in dressing women holding dogs. I mean, I assume they’re allowed to put the dogs down while actually dressing. That would surely be necessary, particularly as he also dresses the dogs.

Not that chat would be appropriate – everyone has to focus on the clothes. I always feel sorry for those celebs forced to sit in the front row, often wearing relatively daft attire themselves, and affect interest. Haven’t Anne Hathaway and Alexa Chung given us enough? Why do we make them suffer like this? They’re not even allowed to eat crisps or shout relevant questions such as “Do you do that in a blue?” if an apt blouse should chance to trudge by.

My own take on those fads, during the sixth form, is mortifying to confess. I started wearing shiny waistcoats. I think I got away with this because, as I didn’t know then but have subsequently learned, it is a tradition at Eton for prefects to be allowed to wear waistcoats and the authorities at the minor private school I went to loved anything that made it feel closer to the sector’s august market leaders.

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