Dear Diary: \u0027I think next year I’m going to have to earmark a couple billion dollars towards an Office of Managing Expectations\u0027
Partisan naysayers will inevitably focus on my $40 billion deficit. But to these disingenuous appraisals, I contend that any cursory examination of the evidence reveals me to be a totem of budgetary responsibility, if not the most fiscally responsible budget since Confederation.
According to the Geneva-based Fiscal Responsibility Institute, Canada ranks number one on their latest index of Social Budgetary Effectiveness. Yes, debt-to-GDP is rising, but the trend disappears entirely when factoring in the oft-ignored metric of “unrealized supplementary GDP.” According to our models, the policies set forth in this budget will contribute to an eventual cumulative increase in national revenue of between $11 and $15 quintillion.
With this in mind, would you still be raising hackles about the Climate Veterans Initiative, a 10-year plan to redirect veteran supports that might otherwise be spent on fossil fuels? The Climate Income Bursary, a 10 per cent increase to MP salaries better positioning them to pursue low-emissions lifestyles? Or the $600 million Office of Climate Firearms Policy, a bureau tasked with pursuing climatologically focused restrictions on firearms acquisition?Article contentThe creation of any...
So my pages do include a few necessary sops to political expediency. The rabble is consumed with some new moral panic about Chinese electoral interference? Here’s $15 million for an Office to Counter Electoral Interference. The media is ginning up manufactured outrage over alleged ethics violations by cabinet ministers? Behold; $67 million I earmarked for a Special Rapporteur on Ethics Oversight.
All I can do is use immense fiscal bursaries to fix global climatological problems to which Canada is a marginal contributor. Beyond that, I’m afraid people just need to buck up and start taking responsibility for their own problems. Government isn’t everything.
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