Dear Diary: 'If we let 'modernizers' have their way, the U.K. head of state would be a sexless, neurodivergent furry, and I would be replaced with an ironic trucker hat'
Naturally, whenever I’m pulled out of storage for something official, you’ll hear the usual chorus of natterers calling for my abolition. Oh okay, I guess we’ll just replace everything that doesn’t make perfect sense to you, an early 21st century coding engineer with self-diagnosed ADHD and an addiction to Monster Energy Drink.
Oh, I’m sure you have “ideas” for “modernization.” Are they similar to your modernizing ideas for insta-melting paper straws and food processors that don’t work until you click “yes” to their software terms and conditions? If we let you people have your way, the U.K. head of state would be a sexless, neurodivergent furry, I would be replaced with an ironic trucker hat, and the national anthem would be a dialtone.
We’ve had our detractors, sure. Oliver Cromwell hated coronations, just like he hated dancing, games and anything that wasn’t the colour grey. Oswald Mosley had some prescient thoughts on “governmental reform,” if I recall. And yet, I can’t help noticing that they’re all dead and I’m not.The United States wasn’t a big fan of crowns.
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