It wasn’t exactly me, but I’d asked my girlfriend for the piercing as a gift. I have no idea why
ChristmasIt wasn’t exactly “me”, an introverted, 21-year-old indie music fan not prone to bold style statements.
At least it was over swiftly. I stuck my tongue out and watched as a thin needle came down before my eyes. It didn’t really hurt. Well, not at the time. Afterwards, my tongue began to slowly swell in my mouth. An hour or so later it was impeding my speech to such a degree that people thought I was taking the piss when I spoke to them. To make matters worse, chewing and swallowing solid food were now virtually impossible.
A mouthful of roast turkey is not the most moist of gastronomic experiences. Now, each bite was a war of attrition, taking minutes to slowly break down until a swallow could be attempted. After three or four attempts I admitted defeat, slinking off to the kitchen to find a tin of Heinz tomato soup and a straw. Merry Christmas, everyone!
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