The first step is to practise giving love and encouragement to yourself. Dare to give yourself hope that you can become more flexible, then try again to engage with others
I am a 44-year-old single woman, working in a pensionable job that I would rather not work in. I own my own home outright.
It feels as if I sabotage my own life. I can’t relax, give in and let people in. I don’t like myself or my body. I never thought I’d end up single, alone, no close friends and no family of my own, bar ageing parents. I don’t know how to get over this or to pull myself together and build an alternative life that brings me fulfilment and meaning.I feel a bit scared of you, because I sense anger when I read your email.
The rules may be something like: keep yourself to yourself; no one can be trusted; relationships are too hard; everything bad that happens to me is someone else’s fault. Such a rule or rules might be true at times or may have even saved you once, but they will not hold true for every situation in your life and if you cling to them, you will narrow down the opportunities you do have for a good life.
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