A man asked the internet for advice about a fight he had with his wife, after he left her at a party when was was making him late for an important work trip.
As mundane and possibly boring as it sounds, passion and romance can only get a long-term relationship so far. While they are absolutely necessary, they are just a few of the ingredients that make a marriage last. Like baking a cake, one needs eggs, sugar, flour, and generally a few more items. One can’t just skil sugar and add more eggs and expect the cake to be the same. A lot less glamorous is the fact that cohabiting means a decent amount of relationship maintenance.
Daniel Canary wrote that “simply staying together is not sufficient; instead, the quality of the relationship is important. For researchers, this means examining behaviors that are linked to relational satisfaction and other indicators of quality,” in the, arguing that a long-term commitment isn’t just a “fire and forget” sort of deal, it has to evolve, grow, and be sustained. The reality is that we have only so many hours in the day, even if all other resources are not constrained.
While it might sound materialistic, being concerned about money is a legitimate fear that can erode trust and weaken a relationship. This is why having joint accounts, savings, insurance, and future prospects are all correlated with successful relationships, while income insecurity has. This all leads us to OP and his decision to leave his wife.
If the couple had better communication skills, the same actions could have happened without the subsequent drama. Perhaps she could have stayed longer and found alternative lodgings while he went on the trip, no doubt options were available. But the wife wanted her cake and to eat it as well and did not make her desires clear until the last minute. This is likely a symptom of a larger issue, a lack of trust and openness, and perhaps a difference in values.
of a successful, long-term relationship. Without them, one party is constantly compromising, and arguing, which will ultimately turn to resentment, killing the marriage or relationship in the long run anyway, only after wasting everyone’s time.Anyone can write on Bored Panda.
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