How to stop being a people pleaser: easy ways to say no
But there is such a thing as being too nice. People pleasing. Caring even when it comes at your own expense. To respect myself, avoid burn out, and have honest relationships I had to learn to say no. Keeping these five things in mind helped.How to stop being a people pleaser:"I focus on what I want and remind myself that it’s OK for different people to like different things."
Now when I say no, I try and convey this as much as possible, wiping an apology grimace off my face. I stay stable and feel my feet on the ground, keeping my attention on the thoughts in my own head, rather than second guessing theirs. I focus on what I want and remind myself that it’s OK for different people to like different things.How to stop being a people pleaser:"It’s my life, and this is how I take care of myself.
If people want to understand why I am saying no, I may generously provide them with my reasons, but I do not allow myself to be disheartened if they then go on to undermine my explanation. It’s my life, and this is how I take care of myself. Just because someone cannot understand my reasons for doing something, doesn’t mean that my reasoning is faulty.
In those cases, you can appreciate the intention, but ask for help or connection in the way you like it. For example, you might say to someone who offers unwanted flattery that you prefer to connect in a different way. If your mum wants to help, maybe explain how you do like to be supported - that you prefer to have fun together, go to the cinema or an exercise class and leave romance and work at home.
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