Parents should try to express the hidden emotion causing anger, which can be fear or hurt, disappointment, guilt or panic.
Life is stressful enough, but when you have kids it’s almost as if the stress is turbo-charged and the endless pressures that come with all that needs to be done within the 24 hours pile up.
On a normal day, which is rare when you have kids, you handle all these challenges in a calm state of mind, but not on days like these when your anger may consume you and you end up screaming, swearing or even spanking a child. You may feel that they are being ungrateful, difficult or behaving badly.Believe me when I say I don’t blame you for wanting to scream your lungs out when you face all these challenges.
Don’t worry though, that’s normal. Parents and kids have the capacity to trigger each other on a level no one else can. Even as a grown-up I’m every so often irrational in relation to my own mother, the poor woman. The test, however, is to remember that as parents we are mature so we resist manifesting anger, and hence reduce the negative impact it has on our children.
Being a bit of a loud mouth and having a child who knows just which buttons to push to make me spit fire for a good 30 minutes, I recently started trying a different approach. Hard as it has been to not allow my child to uncover all the hidden wounds from my childhood and bring out the crazy in me, this has worked wonders.
“No bad energies today” is my little mantra. I just need to repeat it long enough to myself to restore my peace. My mom always tells me that “the positive way to handle anger is to reduce your expression of it” and she is so right.The trick I have learnt is to also never act when I am angry, which I struggled with for a long time.
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