Here’s a toast to Irving Schwart, a decent math student with attendance problems who was a complete fake created by my high school classmates
In 2011, when I taught English and career development at Windsor Park Collegiate in Winnipeg, I had the good fortune to sit on its 50th Anniversary Committee. We planned a busy weekend of events and organized a banquet to commemorate the school’s history and some of its famous grads such as curler Jennifer Jones, NHLer Butch Goring, author Evelyn Jacks and wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper.
In those days before the information age, a teacher passed around a sheet of foolscap for all students to sign on the first day of class. The names on the sheet would be transcribed later into the official classroom register. Mr. W was all business, he took attendance quickly and turned his attention to the lesson of the day, plowing through math problems on the blackboard. In this non-descript atmosphere, Irving Schwartz found an easy home to exist.
When tests were dispersed through the rows, one student was responsible for writing two tests, one with Irving Schwartz’s name on it. The yearbook editors created a photograph of Irving for the grads’ section of the yearbook, a composite cut-up image of four different photos from 1972 yearbook. My research found that the face includes Cam Connor’s lips and the eyes and glasses of Mr. Ginter, a teacher in the school. The jury’s still out on the forehead and shoulder sections.
To be honest, though, I prefer to think that the mark might be in one of those tattered old file folders and we should leave it at that. Irving would probably want it that way.
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