Gaza diary part 16: ‘I want to die peacefully, at a very old age, having achieved all my dreams’

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Gaza diary part 16: ‘I want to die peacefully, at a very old age, having achieved all my dreams’
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Ziad, a 35-year-old Palestinian, recounts two days in Gaza: the luck of those with dual nationality; the strain of comforting people outside Gaza; and saving another cat

Palestinian women line up to buy bread next to destroyed buildings at the Nuseirat refugee camp in the central Gaza Strip.Palestinian women line up to buy bread next to destroyed buildings at the Nuseirat refugee camp in the central Gaza Strip.I fell in love with the song Killing Me Softly With His Song in my early 20s. I realised back then that my mother, too, had fallen in love with the same song at almost the same age. The version I am listening to is one of many covers of the original.

“That was the stupidest decision I have ever made. Not only for me, but for my own children. Take my youngest child, he is less than six months old, and he has experienced evacuation, living in fear and lack of food. Is this the life I want for him?”Another friend, who evacuated to one of the schools at first, couldn’t handle the situation. Her family has been lucky – after a week, the family found an apartment, with three other families.

I want to die peacefully, at a very old age, after having spent a beautiful life and achieving all the dreams I wanted to make true.We finally find a vet where we can take Manara to have the remaining injections. It is 45 minutes’ walk away. These days, you are more likely to find $1,000 in the street before finding a car willing to give you a ride. I go with Ahmad with Manara in the bag. She does not resist.

We go into the shop, and buy the food and litter. I see a number of birds, fish and one hamster. The owner tells us he has lost many animals because of the bombing. As for the fish, he tries to turn on the water filter for an hour every day to keep the water clean. At the door, I see a big blanket covered with bread leftovers. He says his neighbour dries these for pigeon feed.Since Manara has chosen to sleep in an old carton, I go to buy her a box.

While waiting, I see an old colleague. She used to fight with her husband all the time. We heard more about their marital problems than about work. All the time people would be trying to fix things between them, and she would always say she would definitely leave him. While walking, I see the black cat I saw yesterday on the ground, with blood coming out of its mouth.

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