DEAR ABBY: My wife and I play on a pool team.
When they were young, I always taught my children to treat others the way you expect them to treat you, and if you don’t have something nice to say, say nothing. When I heard what she said, I felt I had failed in my duty as a parent to teach her the values my parents instilled in me.
Maybe, since I’m sad for the loss of my friend, I took what she said wrong. Any advice on how I should approach this with my daughter would be greatly appreciated. — FEELING LIKE A FAILUREYour daughter appears to lack any sense of empathy. What she said was unkind and dismissive. She may be self-centred, or was annoyed with you or about something else going on in her life when she said it. You have every right to tell her how her comment affected you at a time when you were feeling vulnerable.
I have corrected my past behaviours, but she seems to use this as a way of “twisting the knife,” knowing it hurts me. I have tried explaining this to her, but she still does it. Do I just ignore her annoying behaviour? Is this her defensive way of getting back at me? What should I do? — WOUNDED IN COLORADOYour wife is not getting back at you for anything. What she is doing is avoiding owning up to the fact that something she does annoys you instead of apologizing or correcting it.
— Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby atShare this Story:
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