A sudden discovery complicates the matter of living with and caring for upwards of 80,000 bees
Part one, in which the author takes delight in the majesty and beauty of the humble bee, and begins planning how to monetize yet another personal health calamity.
BTW, anaphylaxis is Latin for “ant laxatives,” but what it really means is a severe, potentially life-threatening allergic reaction. It can occur within seconds of exposure to something you’re really allergic to, such as, not to put too fine a point on it, bee stings. In the hive, poo-filled honey bees living cheek-to-jowl with tens of thousands of poo-filled coworkers have to be quite hygienic for all the reasons you are thinking about right now. What I’m saying is they have to poop outside the hive. In wintertime when they can’t leave the hive to forage, worker bees hold in their poo until weather conditions allow them to take a quick “cleansing flight” over my car.
Some bee stings hurt more than others. Justin O. Schmidt, the Nobel prize-winning entomologist you were probably just talking about, developed the “Schmidt Sting Pain Index,” comparing the impacts of stinging insects on humans to find out which stings hurt most. Dr. Schmidt, working tirelessly in his laboratory developed the gauge by allowing insects to sting him.
Hmmm… I’m reviewing my notes and I see that, in actual fact, Dr. Schmidt was awarded the 2015 Ig Nobel Prize in Physiology and Entomology, not the Nobel Prize. The Ig Nobels are awarded for science published in peer-reviewed journals that, “first makes you laugh, then makes you think.” So I guess we can safely bump up my pain level two sting rating to something more frightening, because that’s certainly how it was for me: scary. More on that later.
I have been stung the usual amount of times in life, which, according to Fantastic Pest Control in the United Kingdom, is no more than five times on average. With a name like that they ought to know, but it seems on the low side. I get that many mosquito bites while out checking the mailbox. Still, D-Tek Live Bee Removal Services in San Diego claims that an average adult could be stung over 1,000 times and survive. I admit this might just be another example of nonsense American exceptionalism.
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