While deciding who to save in the event of a nuclear explosion is an inappropriate assignment for preteens, I, as a 33-year-old woman, will gladly partake.
All of that being said, while this surely is an inappropriate assignment for students who are probably just going to health class wondering why they’re growing hair in weird parts of their bodies, I, as a 33-year-old woman, will gladly partake. So here is my conclusion as to who would be best suited to bring into my bomb shelter and subsequently restart civilization.Let’s start with the obvious “no’s.
The obvious “yes’s” for me is the 38-year-old retired prostitute. Thirty-eight and already retired? Sounds like she has great business acumen and social savvy—both great skills to have in these dire circumstances. The next obvious yes is the “31-year-old homosexual architect.” I imagine this will be helpful when we have to build shelters in the new world and they might be able to design a nice deck to sit on and admire all the wreckage the bomb left behind.
If the pregnant teen counts as two people then I will choose her over the 50-year-old sober musician. That is only because I imagine having a Gen-X’er who used to do a lot of cocaine means we’re going to be listening to a lot of techno jungle music from the 90s. That might cause some of the few people we’re hunkering down with to off themselves and we can’t have that. But if the pregnant teen only counts as one person, then I’ll gladly let the 50-year-old sober musician jam with us.
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