A letter-writer with a serious illness was not there for a grieving friend, and fears calling now would 'do more harm than good.'
Would calling now do more harm than good? I just haven’t had the bandwidth to talk to anyone except my doctors and immediate family, but I’m getting there, and this friend has been at the top of my list. But now I’m second-guessing.There’s no good answer here except time travel.Not to criticize or guilt-trip your choices in the moment, just to state a fact, to clear the path to acceptance of imperfect options.
That includes acting right away. Send a card saying you think of her often. If you can share a warm anecdote or memory of the child, then do that. If you have photos from your time together that include the child, then go ahead and email them with the same message, that you think of her often. Say you were moved to write when you came across these photos.
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