The term gaslighting refers to a pattern of manipulation and control in which an abuser successfully convinces their victim that they are insane. It has devastating consequences.
Coercive control is now considered a crime that involves serious harm to intimate partners and family members.Gaslighting can be an intrinsic aspect of coercive control, leading victims to believe they're crazy.in 2015, referring to a form of abuse that occurs within a family or intimate partnerships. Coercive control is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats,, intimidation, or other abuse designed to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.
For over 30 years I have worked with coercive controllers and their victims, exposed to the many ways that this abuse manifests, and the terrible consequences. The occasional use of violence, sometimes directed against partners, at other times against children or even family, scars the bodies and minds of the victims.
I have worked with numerous women who were the children, and later victims, of abusive relationships but who said that the violence and coercive control initially felt like markers of care to them. While they did not want this abuse, nor consciously chose it, at some level it felt ‘normal’, showing they mattered and that their partners needed them.
The term 'gaslight’ refers to the 1938 play and later film in which a controlling partner twists his new wife’s mind into painful knots as she tries to make sense of strange occurrences, including gaslights flickering without cause. As she becomes increasingly isolated, because of her husband’s coercive control of her, and his involvement of a housekeeper to support his manipulations and tricks, she comes close to losing her own mind.
To break free of gaslighting and recover faith in their own minds, victims need support and validation. This often needs to come from outside influences, who can restore a link to reality and restore confidence in their own perceptions. In some cases, this process takes many years as coercive controllers do everything to keep their victims away from anyone or anything that could break their spell, offer a glimpse of freedom, or vindication of their sanity.
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